Read Time: 2 minutes
Are you about to get fired because your bosses finally realised you’re completely incompetent and barely do any work? Well, before you accept your fate, there’s one last thing for you to try: assert your dominance in the best way when you’re being fired by eating a whole liver. They might just change their minds, but if not, you’ll know you went out on a high note. We’ll teach you how!
Step one: Preparations
Start by making sure that you are well–nourished and have plenty of energy. Eating a nutritious meal will help you to feel strong and confident. Make sure you eat something pleasant that goes with pig liver, just in case it comes back up.
Step two: Obtaining the package
Next, find a whole raw pig liver. This can be purchased at most butcher shops. The bloodier, the better. Remember, this is all about the visuals – pick a liver that is going to be messy to eat.
Step three: Confident march in
Walk right into your meeting with your boss or the person firing you where you know the inevitable is about to happen – you’re about to devour this pig liver and they will just have to watch you do it.
Step four: Readying yourself
When you are ready, take the liver in your hands and begin to eat it. Make sure that you are making eye contact with your boss or whoever is firing you.
Step five: The winning mindset
As you eat, focus on enjoying the taste of blood and feeling the nourishment from the liver entering your body.
Step six: Dominance asserted
Finally, once you have finished eating the liver, sit back and confidently assert your dominance. Just revel in the fact that you are in total control of the situation and they probably respect you a lot more after you have eaten a whole pig liver. You may want to say something like, “I am in control now. You cannot fire me.”
